Pandemonium Con 2 – Parabatai Panel
Parabatai Panel
Fan: Matt, can you do a British accent?
(audience yelling DO IT! GO ON! DO IT!!)
Matt: No! Reason one: Because I’m in a room full of a bunch of British people, and I have not prepared. And reason two: because I’m not doing it. I’m sorry. I won’t. I apologise. But ask me on the street and I’ll do it one on one with you. I do it all the time as I’m walking around, but I’m not doing it here.
(all throughout Matt’s answer he’s getting heckled by the audience daring him to do it and asking him to prove that he does it all the time)
Dom: This is British politics. Just kind of yelling at each other. You’re in the House of Lords explaining your point and this is what happens, people just yelling PROVE IT!
M: I’ve seen that on TV… because I’m allowed to. You guys aren’t. They can’t air it on TV in this country
D: That’s right
M: They can only watch it in my country, so I watch it when you guys can’t see it, so that’s on you..
D: Does that make you more British than American? NEXT QUESTION!
Fan: Who’s the better sibling, Izzy or Max?
M: Go to your parents and ask them which one of us do you love the most?
(audience yells, that we did ask that in the Nicola panel)
M: You asked?
D: What did she say?
Audience: She said it depends on the situation
D: There’s a correct answer to this! As much as we all make jokes about it, it is the adopted one, because she chose me!
M: I’m going to let that go because… I only have hate in my voice right now and I’m not going to sink to his level.
Fan: What’s your favourite thing about each other and what annoys you most?
M: My favourite thing about Dom is that he is fun to hang out with. He’s a good, nice, kind person. Thinks of others before himself. Probably a better man that I will ever be. (Audience awwwwws. Dom gets up and hands over £10 to a lot of laughter.)
M: And the thing that annoys me about Dom, is all of the above… (Laughter)
D: My favourite thing about Matt is… that he’s honest!
Fan: When you’re in the shower… what is your go to shower song?
(Dom and Matt both look scared at the beginning, then very relieved at the end of that question)
M: I liked the start of that question. When you guys are in the shower… and then it was harmless
D: It was all good in the end.
M: I have never listened to a song in the shower once in my life. I don’t think I have ever done it. Where is the music even coming from? Is it playing outside? Are you bringing a boom box into the shower? Do I bring my cell phone in and blast low quality tunes? No! I won’t do it and I object to the concept and I have to say that I will never do it!
D: I promise you that at least one of these questions we’re going to answer properly. We don’t know which one it’s going to be, but we will answer it properly.
Fan: Dom, have you ever played any regional characters from here in England?
D: Erm… no. Not… no. Just no.
M: He’d struggle doing the accent right
D: I haven’t… I… I… no. There’s no fun story or anecdote to that, it’s just a no. And Matt may be correct that I do a piss poor British accent so that’s it.
Fan: You sound a bit Mancunian in Don’t Speak
D: In Don’t Speak, where I was supposed to be American? Alright…
M: What?
D: They said I went a bit Mancunian in my accent in Don’t Speak, but he’s from Massachusetts so…
M: Oh, but they are very similar so that’s okay…
Fan: Can you do an impression of each other?
M: We get asked that every single time and we’re not doing it because it gets us in trouble, so we don’t do it
D: Last time we did it, the show got cancelled (audience howls with laughter)
Fan: Matt, if you played Jace do you think you would have done a better job?
M: Yes! (laughter) No, of course not! I lack the intrinsic narcissism to portray such a delightful, adopted, second favourite.
Fan: Well you did audition for him first… (laughter)
M: In the movie? Well… you take what you can get. You start with the bottom roles and you work your way up…
D: Anyway, thank you!
Fan: If you could have your favourite characters from various TV shows in one show, who would you have and what would it be about?
M: I would have the entire cast of Veep, and I would have them do more Veep. Is that an option? The take away from this is that I like the show Veep.
D: I would have the entire cast from Jersey Shore, but do Lost.
Fan: This question is for both of you
D: Playing the odds! Very nice!
Fan: We have this debate… When you sneeze, do you sneeze into your hands or your elbow?
(Matt pulls his sweater over his mouth and nose and mimes sneezing into it)
D: Yeah, you should see the inside of that!
(Matt laughs, then pats and rubs his chest, where all the snot would be)
M: I want to talk about sneezing for a second. I’m going to be very quick! When you sneeze, how many of you make a big loud sound? How many of you engage your vocal cords when you sneeze? I don’t understand it. You just let the air out. It should just be a ‘ssssss’ sound but instead you’re like ‘ACHOO!’ You said ‘achoo!’, it’s ridiculous. “I can’t control it… I sneeze and that’s what happens” But you said ACHOO! (agitated) Fix it! Fix it! Fix it!
D: I’m a very quiet sneezer and I sneeze into my hand. Thank you for the question.
M: You know you know someone when you hear them sneeze, and you go ‘Oh, its you’.
Fan: If you had your own brand of detergent, what would you name it and what would it smell off?
D: Mine… I could bottle it and sell it here and make an absolute fortune because I’d call mine ‘Matt Daddario’ (cheering)
M: What do I smell off? Describe me! Describe my scent.
(Dom leans over to sniff Matt and pretends to retch from the smell)
M: If you could turn that sound into a word, that would be the name of it. The sound of retching.
D: For everyone who is live tweeting this, I want them to come up with the actual written word for (Dom retches again)
(laughter)
M: I would name my detergent ‘No, you stink!’ and the smell would be somewhere between a person who just went for a run but wore deodorant and the smell of a dog’s paws after it’s been outside in the grass. And it’s called ‘No, you stink!’
D: Aaaaaand we’re done!
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