Pandemonium Con 1 – Parabatai Panel

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It is safe to say that the Parabatai Panel was an absolute highlight of the weekend. Getting Matt and Dom in a room together and seeing their infamous chemistry first hand was delightful! They are so very fond of each other and have perfected a double act that relies on teasing insults but is interrupted every five minutes because one of them has made the other one laugh so much your stomach hurts just watching them.

It is safe to say that no one left the room without at least a bit of a twinge in their diaphragm from laughing at their antics, so we will do our best to recall them for you.

In no particular order and with no semblance of structure… here we go!

Have you kept anything from the set?

M: (offended tone) The answer is no. We have not kept anything. We would never take things from the set. That would be inappropriate. It would be theft. It would be stealing!

D: I mean, I used a very distinctive sword for the entirety of Shadowhunters. (mischievous, satisfied voice)  I have it! (pauses to thinks, looking around the room) OH! And these! (points at the boots he’s wearing) these are Jace’s

M: Occasionally some boots. Nothing else..

D: Yeah… They said… I mean… I… Nobody is filming this, right? Right?

(laughter. audience assured him that no. Matt points out that there is always someone filming)

M: I didn’t get to keep my bow. I know it was auctioned off to somebody like this. (finger snap) That was very sudden. (Audience coos) no big deal! Whatever! I’m over it!

D: You bought it, didn’t you?

M: No. (pouts)

What is your favourite memory together?

(Audience awws)

M: Actually I’ve been working on this thing where my memory only goes back 2 weeks. Life is very simple that way. I noticed because fish never look unhappy. (Dom protest that they do) They don’t! They just look confused. So I stopped having those memories, I just got rid of them. But if I did hypothetically have a positive memory of this guy, it would be when I first realised that working with him wasn’t going to be a complete pain in the arse, which is a nice way of saying when I realised he could be my friend

(audience awws)

M: COULD be.

D: It’s a trial period for 2 weeks. A friendship trial.

M: Well I don’t remember what you’ve done so..

D: That’s the thing, we had to re-meet when we first got here today. (Matt impression) I don’t remember you, what’s your name?

D: Mine might be this exact moment because I think it’s the first time you called me your friend…

M: Tentative friend!

D: Tentative, yes. I might have just ruined it for myself…

They get asked if there are any Parabatai moments in 3b that we can look forward to and Matt starts talking tentatively and Dom interrupts, because spoilers. They confer behind cupped hands (which they have done a lot in recent convention circuits. Not sure how good they think our lipreading is, but clearly they think quite highly of our skills!)

They conclude that yes, there are some. Dom mentions a moment in Matt’s office that’s a big moment.

Can you remember the parabatai oath?

They both hesitate…

M: Actually, here’s a curious thing about the parabatai oath… It’s actually from the bible! It’s sort of an adapted version from the book of…erm.. the book of…

Audience: Ruth

M: The book of Ruth, yes. I thought that was an interesting thing that I hadn’t realised in the past…

D: So…?

M: I can’t do the thing. I only have a two week memory! Do you want me to look it up?

D: Entreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee.. (Audience whoops and cheers) and.. the rest..

M/D: Where thou goest I will go and where thou lodgest I will lodge. Erm…

M: For ever and ever and ever

Audience yells: Thy people

D: Thy people shall me my people and thy god, my god… next?

Audience: Where thou leadest

D: Yeah, that’s right! Where thou… thoust?

M: I don’t know. There’s a lot of thoust and all that. I do like it! I just don’t remember it!

Audience: Just do the short version!

D: (outraged) There’s a short version??

M: There’s an extended version?!?

D: We’ve been doing these conventions, Matt and I together in a lot of these panels, for about two years. And this question comes up all the time, and we still haven’t made the effort.. to even put it on our hands, so we could just read it. We should just do that! Next time, we should do that..

M: I mean.. If it will make you happy.

D: And there will I be buried, the angel do so to me, and more also, if aught but death part thee and me. Thank you! (cheers) Just kidding! I know it!

Are you a Queen fan?

D: Are you a queen fan? How could you not be a queen fan?

Audience member shouts angrily: VERY EASILY

(Dom and Matt look shocked, try to hide behind their chairs and look about for escape routes)

M: You mean a fan of the queen of England?

Who would be Freddie and…

D: (interrupting enthusiastically) We actually always used to say that you would play a really good Freddie Mercury!

M: That’s completely false.. I don’t have the voice, the performing chops..

D: That’s not true! I think you’d be good at it!

M: I’m also about a foot too tall.

D: I think Matt would do a good job, Matt thinks Matt would not do a good job

Audience: I think you’d be like Brian May and you could be like Roger

D: Oooh, yeah. And Harry could be Freddy

M: He’s got moves baby!

Who are your favourite members of the cast to do scenes with?

D: (Points at Matt) Two weeks.. he has no memory of filming Shadowhunters..

M: My favourite? I don’t know.. I gotta say Harry. It was also… (Dom pretends to storm off. Matt glances at him with a shrug, before continuing) it was also fun to work with Isaiah. Kat. Emeraude. Alberto.. I don’t really remember anybody else…

Dom pouts. Audience awws

D: I didn’t like working with any of them.

M: There’s your answer. You want the truth… You want it, you got it sister!

How was it being evil in 3a, acting against Clary and all that. Did you enjoy it?

D: Oh yeah! Much easier than pretending to like her! Look, the reality is… you’re talking about the whole owl thing they made me do? They have so much money they could have CGI’ed anything on my face, but they put me in a mask for 6 months. A full face mask.

M: (gleefully) And leather pants

D: Leather pants and a leather jacket. And they would rip. Some of you have heard this story, I was wearing pink briefs… And then I almost drowned! Did you know this Matt? (Matt pretends he has never heard this story) So the mask comes down to my chest and it’s glued on. So the first scene with poor Tim Dempsey, remember the really lovely nurse that we just murder in cold blood? Yeah, him… That mask let’s in water at the top and then not out at the bottom and we are filming this rain scene and I can see water filling up my goggles and I’m like ‘hey guys, I don’t want to be dramatic but I think I’m gonna die so can we stop?’

M: You’re like a sheep..

(long pause)

D: What??

M: You’re just like (gazes at the sky) ‘Oh no, it’s filling up with water and I’m going to die! I have no idea what to do now’ when you could have just.. (gets up, tilts his head upside down and mimes shaking water out)

  

I was wondering, if this whole actor gig won’t work out for you… (laughter) 

D: Mum??

(audience laughs. Matt absolutely cracks up)

D: Sorry, continue..

What other profession would you choose?

D: SPACECOWBOY! I said it first!!

M: Yeah, that’s funny. It’s either spacecowboy or I would start a power washing business. Basically have about 10 – 20 units. High powered gasoline. Hire maybe a crew of about five people. Start sourcing jobs. Outdoor walls. Cement cleaning. Pathways. Driveways. Decks. Walls. Building…

(laughter. Dom looks at Matt, marvelling)

M: It’s true

D: (chuckling fondly) I know!

M: Have you ever power-washed something? (to audience) HAVE YOU EVER POWER WASHED SOMETHING? It is possibly the second best feeling in the world! Second to… erm.. power washing.

D: Imagine power washing and you had two?

M: Two power washers? You’re mad now!

What are your favourite Christmas songs?

M: Silent night. That’s my answer. Silent night. (turns to Dom) Yours?!

D: Wow.. I don’t think I’ve ever been so aggressively asked.. What’s your favourite Christmas song? YOURS? NOW!

M: There’s a right answer

D: There’s a right answer??

M: You don’t want to give the wrong answer…

M: I also like ‘on the first day of Christmas’ (sings a bit of it. Audience cheers! Dom: ‘And you said you can’t sing..’) Don’t encourage him! … Me I mean. I’m him in this scenario.

D: I don’t know what mine is…

M: Jingle bells? Rudolph the red nose reindeer?

D: Ah! Rudolph! The Rudolph one!

M: He’s got a red nose. He does reindeer stuff. Helps with the presents. Cuts through the fog. Useful reindeer..

D: If you don’t ask the next question, he won’t stop!

How will 03×10 affect Alec and Jace?

D: When I was in Australia I gave away a massive thing that happens at the beginning of 3b, so I’m saying nothing..

M: We gotta keep it real mum on this because we have a habit of giving away spoilers because of… because we’re idiots! So I will tell you, that it does have an affect. Because we film literally with a purpose. But honestly it’s less of an effect than you would expect because there’s a lot of stuff. New stuff. Problems. So we move on pretty quick, but you’ll see, don’t worry.

If you could have or be any animal, mythical or real, what would you be?

M: Mythical or real? I would be.. an interplanetary octopus. 8 million miles long. Made of diamonds and gold. With a thousand eyes. And each eye encompasses an entire universe of it’s own. And in each eye, within each of those universes, there’s a million more of me, the same creature, and I exist simultaneously in all those places. And I only eat ice cream. Strawberry flavour.

D: I’d be a puppy.

M: That’s a better choice. Can I go with puppy?

Matt, did you ever break anything while you filmed?

M: I never broke anything once! Ridiculous to even question me. Don’t listen to him. (points at Dom) This guy has this ridiculous story where I broke a sword and the sword broke, yes, but I didn’t break it…

D: That wasn’t even the story I was going to tell, but yes, you did break it

M: I didn’t break it! They said jam the sword into the ground! But it’s the frozen tundra. It’s December in Toronto! There was literally polar bears that were picking off crew members on the outskirts. People were huddling in close for safety.

D: We had a huge turn around on crew

M: It was crazy. In fact, sometimes after a good feeding, we knew we could film the next day because the polar bears were so full, they were laying on their backs, on the outskirts, and we could film.

So I had to plant this sword into the frozen ice, in the dirt and they say, slam it in the ground and I did!

And it breaks in half and they go ‘You broke it!’ And I’m like ‘I literally did what you wanted me to do!’ and they’re blaming me! You see what I mean??

If you could change your signature weapon to any object in the world, what would it be?

D: Any weapon in the world? There are so many better weapons than what we use!

A: Alec said ‘I need a projectile. Well, bows and arrows have pretty much been the primary mode of combat for the last few hundred years. I don’t see anything else going on.’

D: I don’t see anything better. Projectiles haven’t improved in the last 200 years since bow & arrow, that was Alec’s thinking.

M: I don’t like how Luke was just able to shoot everything on the show.. problem solved.. I know why! I get it! I’m just saying we should employ the wolves and arm them! Arm them, seriously! We should have got all these downworlders, armed and trained with weapons.

D: I can’t tell you how many fights I lose in 3b because I turn around and everyone is armed better than me. There’s one where Clary throws me her little knife and I’m like ‘There’s 7 people around me! What am I meant to do with this? I’m not making toast!!’

M: Now if we had a tank…

D: Shadowtank! That would be.. Or a plane?

M: Hot air balloon would work great, too. Throw rocks over the edge. No vampires are getting near there. What are you going to do vampire?

D: There you go! The answer was hot air balloon and rocks. In case anyone in the back didn’t hear? Hot air balloon and rocks. This is why they didn’t let us have a huge amount of input with the scripts.

What’s your favourite city and what would Alec’s favourite city be?

Matt pauses for a long time…

D: London! If he doesn’t say London he’s an idiot. You’re in London. Say London!

M: Yeah. Mine. But Alec.. I don’t know!

D: The reality is if Shadowhunters could go anywhere they wouldn’t go to a city where there’s another institute and shit hitting the fan the whole time. They’d go to a beach town where only five people live. Running into Lilith tanning herself on a beach. We wouldn’t go to cities. They wouldn’t say ‘let’s go to Toronto’ oh, yeah, there’s evil happening here to… great.

M: Where as if we went to Keiko’s (?) institute… Any demons recently?

D: No, not a single one. I’m actually the only shadowhunter here. (both look around themselves) Nothing..

M: Oh. What about… (mimes picking something up. looks at it) Nope. That’s a crab. Looks like a demon but no… 

What is your favourite scene you shot together?

(Fan shouts 02×03)

D: It could be…

M: I agree! I think it actually is. The first fightscenes that we did together when we first started the show, for sure that was a great moment. It felt like we were doing something cool and interesting so that was a great start. And then the episode where I get to sleep in bed the whole time and you had to cry a lot. That was great. I loved that. You did great work. And I, I did great also.

D: Yeah. Erm… yeah. YEAH.

How do you feel when people say they found their own Parabatai through the show?

M: It’s something I really like to hear. Sometimes during the autographs someone will say ‘this is for my parabatai who’s not here right now’ and it’s really nice.

D: There’s a real bonding that people have found through this term and this relationship that started as something fictional and then has turned, via the books and the show, into something real for so many people, so it’s lovely!

M: Just quick! For those of you who are doing that thing where you tweet what we say. In the past I have noticed people post things, and they are not really correct.

D: No paraphrasing, team!

M: The paraphrasing is a problem.. you realise the power of those missing words… and I’m like ‘man, that’s not what I said’… Let’s really work on that skill! (laughs) You guys are doing great! Great work!

Host interrupts to send people to Isaiah auto

Host: No one is moving.. why is no one moving?

D: It doesn’t get more entertaining than this. It’s the same amount of idiocy. I would go and see Isaiah if I were you

M: I mean, I can be even dumber…

If Shadowhunters was a musical, what would your theme song be and could you sing a bit for us?

M: I love that your under the impression – which I do appreciate – that we are capable, currently, of creating a song of tremendous talent, and wit.. which we are by the way! On a serious note.. I just don’t have the voice for it. Now Dom does.. (cheering) but he won’t do it because he’s a big baby.

D: I am.

M: I think the musical number, would be like.. Alec would be the one that’s like (“singing” deadpan) ‘Alec’s at work, ta ta ta ta ta’ and then Jace would come in and be all heroic and all that.. you know Gaston? Yeah? And you know… erm… What’s that.. from the Disney songs? From the Disney movies?

D: I don’t know!

M (to audience): Who would Alec be from those Disney movies?

Audience: Prince Charming!

M: When was Prince Charming a grump??

Audience: Snow White

D: (laughing) Snow White!

M: Maybe in episode three… hang on, who’s the one that fell asleep?

D: Who’s the one that fell asleep?? It’s Sleeping Beauty Matt…

M: I haven’t read these in the last two weeks…

D: Oh wow..

M: We haven’t answered your question but I assure you it would be awesome and make a billion dollars!

D: They were talking about doing a musical episode for a while and I said the only way that I would do it, is if Matt sings… so we didn’t do it.

What kind of advice would you give to your character?

D: To our characters? So much! Stop dying Jace! Honestly, it just causes problems for everyone! You die and then your possessed and then a bunch of other people die and then Clary dies.. Yeah! She’s not in 3b folks. Kat’s not here to dispute it!

M: Yeah, Clary dies in 03×11..

D: Slams into the middle of New York. The explosion send her straight up and first scene… aaaah BAM!

Which is the easiest and hardest Malec scenes to film?

M: The hard ones are the ones where one of the actors has to break. There’s a scene.. oh shit..

D: NO! It hasn’t happened yet. I know exactly what you’re talking about. Don’t!

M: Okay. There’s a scene that was extremely difficult to film for one of the two of us and it was very impressive, because you spend a lot of time, over and over again, and crying and what not. And then you turn around. And there’s more crying. And you turn around, you do it again. When I say turn around, I mean they turn the cameras around.

D: Yeah, they don’t film you like this (gets up to rotate on the spot)

M: They… they don’t do that.

M: The easiest ones are the fun ones because Harry’s very good at banter and fast paced dialogue and we have a lot of fun with that and it’s a lot quicker and easier. And there’s one scene in particular where you’re all going to say ‘that must have been a lot of work for old Matt’. It’s possible. You’ll see. Oh you’ll see!

If you could pair up two people in the show, who would it be?

D: Alright! That’s new. We’ve never had that question before…

M: This is something you’ve thought about before. You’ve spent some time…

D: Wait! Time out! Who’s currently not dating??

M: We look at the web, and we assume that everybody who has smooched, one way or another, wink wink, and you create kind of a weird system. And I think that currently we have people that are stuck with certain people that we like to see together, so if I was going to make anybody… I would take Raj (laughter) and I would take.. do you remember that demon from the sewer? The little cute one, that attacked me, with the thing (slicing motion) was that a Ravener demon?

D: yeah yeah, with the thing (mouth tentacles)

M: oh! Yeah, sure, why not him! They would be a great pairing. They would go on several dates, I mean at first it would be kind of will they, won’t they. And then after a while…

D: Got a whole Ross Rachel thing going on

M: Absolutely! I think it would take 6 to 10 episodes, they would work through things, work through some trouble..

D: Why can’t they just get it together?? … in the end, they have to get it together. Poor Raj could really do with some happiness.

M: Some true love

D: Poor Raj…

We all know that in the books Alec and Magnus have a baby.

M: In episode 03×16 Alec and Magnus have their 8th baby. It was an accident but (…) there’s a lot of mouths to feed, so Alec takes a second job…

D: Power washing!

(cheering)

M: I don’t know how to top that?

M: And the babies work for him. There’s no child labour laws in Idris…

M: Sorry, what’s your actual question? How would Jace react to an Alec baby?

D: I feel like if you didn’t name it Jace, he’d be furious!

M: You only use a name of somebody who’s passed already!

D: I have! Twice!

(Audience in shock)

M: He doesn’t die a second time in any point in the show! He’s making this up!

D: Yeah, he’s right!

M: He’s trying to bamboozle you all!

D: Bamboozle! Name it bamboozle!

M: I’m naming my child bamboozle! Boo-boo! Boozle! Get in here and start power washing!

—

And with that, the panel came to an end. And what a note to end it on! Parabalaughs a plenty!

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